4 Lessons I Learned After Living With My Boyfriend For a Year

Beyonce Crazy in Love

Remember when I wrote about what single girl behaviors I would be sacrificing when I moved in with my boyfriend. Well I have an update! We’ve officially been living together for a year and I didn’t really have to sacrifice anything (I still have Beyoncé dance parties). Not only did we survive our first year living together, we just moved into our second apartment! Of course everything wasn’t perfect. I questioned our decision numerous times. However there were more moments I couldn’t imagine us being apart. This isn’t a decision to rush. Once you sign that lease you’re locked in. Over the past year I learned a few things I think would be helpful for anyone thinking of moving in with their partner.

  1. Learn How to Compromise

Relationships are all about compromise right? NOPE! I say this because I didn’t feel like I ever had to compromise anything until we moved in together. Before living together our compromises seemed so small. Honestly, they were mostly about what we’d eat. I’d want pizza and he’d want a burger, but we agreed to get tacos. Simple stuff. Now our compromises involve purchasing furniture, washing dishes, having guest stay over, etc. You will have to make sacrifices for the greater good of your relationship.

  1. Communication is Key

Communication changes after you live together. You can’t assume because you see each other everyday that you don’t have to communicate with each other. Sharing a living space with someone actually requires MORE communication. Everything from paying bills to plans for the future will be discussed. No matter the topic it is important to have open and honest communication with your partner.

  1. Give Each Other Some Space

Some people lose themselves in relationships, especially when you live together. Don’t feel obligated to spend every moment with each other just because you live together. Nobody likes feeling smothered. It’s perfectly normal to want some space from your partner, and you shouldn’t feel guilty if you ask for it. Have a night out with your girls, take a class alone, spend time together separately within your home. Don’t change up your routine now that you live together, maintain a sense of individual identity.

  1. Don’t Let Yourself Feel Pressure to Take the Next Step

Since I moved in with PJ three of my friends got engaged. Even though I’m beyond happy for them, I can’t help but feel some pressure. PJ and I talked about where our relationship was going before moving in together and mutually decided we were ready to live together. However we don’t plan to take the next step anytime soon. People have expectations of what the next step in a relationship is when you move in together, but their expectations isn’t your reality. Go at your own pace, what is meant for you will happen when the time is right.

What lessons did you learn after living with your partner? Are you feeling pressure from friends and family to take the next step (marriage, babies)? Share below in the comments!

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35 Comments

  1. I agree with everything in this post. I went through the same problems in a previous relationship and if you don’t learn to conquer these small hurdles; you’re relationship won’t make it.

  2. So I lived with an ex by accident years ago and I hated it. Mainly because it was rushed and neither of us were ready. Our relationship wasn’t great beforehand so this didn’t help. My current boyfriend have thoroughly discussed moving in together and I’m excited bout it because we are actually considering our future and discussing things like where we are headed and learning to compromise.

    1. I lived with an ex before too and clearly it didn’t work out. We weren’t ready and weren’t great together. Luckily I’m with someone that I know I’m meant to be with :-).

  3. These things are SO true for marriage also! I love this post! So many of my girlfriends don’t understand these simple basics of relationships (especially the “give each other some space” notion!

  4. I agree with all of these! My beau and I have been living together for about 2 years. In that time we have purchased a new sofa and attended 3 weddings, but we are definitely not ready for marriage yet. Luckily I haven’t felt the pressure to get married from family or friends yet!

    1. Thanks for reading! We’ve attended about 6 weddings since living together, with a couple more this year. It’s hard not to feel the pressure but we don’t let it get to us.

  5. I can totally relate to you. For us Communication was key to make it successful and still have fun. I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years (apartment life) and now we are living together in a home that we just bought. It takes great communication and an equal level of sacrifice & trust to make it work.

  6. This was really interesting to read, great post! I’m fresh out of university and just getting into my living-along single-girl-tendency years haha so this sounds like 7 lifetimes away but it’s great to see that someone can still have both 🙂

    Julz | FrameAmbition.com

  7. After living with my boyfriend I realized number one right away! That would be the biggest thing.
    Also just because you all live together doesn’t mean the romance stops. Dates and going out is still important !!

  8. Round of applause for this, I live with my boyfriend.At first it was hard to get along and living together. Then actually talked things out and do all of these things on a regular.

  9. I’ve lived with my bf for a little over a year as well. What I learned is what a great team we make. We divide our household tasks pretty easily (he even folds my laundry)! I know, from living together that we truely do make a great team. He is still my favorite person to be around, and I’m so happy to come home to him everyday.

    The most important aspect of living together, in my opinion, is to keep things exciting and fresh. Go out on dates and have spontaneous adventures. Otherwise domestication can get a tad boring.
    Thanks for sharing what you’ve learned!amd congrats on your new apartment.

    Xo D’Ana Joi
    http://Www.joi-knows-how.com

    1. Thank you for reading! I agree, keeping things exciting is important. I think we’ve done a great job or still courting each other despite living together. We said we never want to be bored with each other and so far we’re succeeding!

  10. I don’t live with my boyfriend (yet) because we’re doing long distance. I’ll definitely keep these in mind for when we do move in together. Thanks for this post!

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