It’s February, the month of Love. Seeing as I’m getting married soon, I’m in a particular lovey mood. I’m also in a very reflective mood about Love. The Black Love hashtag has flooded my timeline more this month than it does when Love & Basketball is replayed on your favorite station so I decided to delve a little deeper into what exactly Black Love is. Imagine my surprise when I searched for black love on urban dictionary and found not one single definition. I’ve seen multiple tributes to #blacklove on IG, twitter, fb, and various articles but it hasn’t become mainstream enough to be included on urban dictionary. But then again, it’s not very inclusive.
In 2013, Panama Jackson wrote an article titled So What Exactly is “Black Love”? after writing an article on President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. He ended up asking the general population to define it because as he so eloquently put it “Black Love doesn’t usually require a definition… it might be hard to define but folks know it when they see it. There’s never really been a need to place any boundaries or limits on the term. Conversely, I don’t think most of us really think about how deep the idea is in and of itself.”
I could spend hours researching and trying to define Black Love and I could never encompass this intricate, delicate, yet sturdy, complexity that makes up Black Love. Also, is Black Love only exclusive to African Americans or does it include Bi-racial and Latino couples?!?!? What about the rest of the African Diaspora?!?!? Now this is definitely not an article written to blast Black Love because I definitely reposted the BEST Dwayne and Whitley meme ever and faithfully follow Fros & Beaus on IG!!!
While although I celebrate and never hesitate to share and like Black Love on all social media platforms and in real life, your typical #BlackLove posts are definitely not my #RelationshipGoals (This is another blog for another day). My Relationship Goals, or OUR Relationship Goals since I’m now a unit is definitely more #GodLove. When you think about it, all those things that you love about Black Love is God Love. The couples love each other unconditionally, support each other, fight & makeup because of the grace and mercy they have for each other.
That last sentence may have lost me a few readers but for those that are sticking with me, let me explain myself a little more. I want to remind you that one of my goals for this new year was to grow more as a Christian and another was to focus on my marriage and not the wedding and highlighting and studying these points definitely helped me grown in both areas.
First let’s head back to the statement “grace and mercy they have for each other”. The bible tells wives to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Jesus and for the husband to love his wife as Jesus loves the church (Ephesians 5:22-25). The ultimate example of God’s grace and mercy towards us was definitely sending his son to die on the cross for us. Now that is love. And that type of love is shown throughout the bible over and over again. I don’t know about you but I’m often reminded that love has limits via social media and it’s great to be reminded that it actually doesn’t and that someone could love me that much here on earth. That is powerful when you think about it. But the bible doesn’t stop there, it covers all aspects of loving your mate. Have you read song of Solomon lately…
As we grow as a couple, I try to keep loving my spouse at the front of my mind. I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s easy. I constantly fail at truly loving Caleb daily but I will continue to strive to love him and display #BlackLove and #GodLove as we conclude Black History Month.
Edited July 1, 2016