My Open Letter to Becky with the Good Hair

After reading this blog written by a friend that spilled all the tea on a girl showing up at her ex’s door begging to reconcile or at least get closure, I felt a pang deep in my heart for her and what she was going through.  It could have easily been Dawn E. Coleman in 2011 if I hadn’t been in an airport on my way back to school. And yes, I cried in that airport. I also couldn’t get the Beyoncé line “you betta call Becky with the good hair” out of my head because ummm yeah, there may or may not have been one in this situation especially since she’d been a presence in this relationship before. But eerily, relating to both of these incidents didn’t lead me to tears. It actually lead me to jump for joy and thank God almighty for where I am today. Happy and married to a man who loves me flaws and all.

True Story, I may need a nap before you talk to me

Now I know you’re wondering exactly where is this open letter to BWTGH well it reads as follows:

Dear Becky with the Good Hair,

Thanks you girl(s)!!!!!!


Mrs. Lee


That’s right, I want to thank her because honestly she did nothing that the man in my life at the time didn’t allow to happen. She played her part in a situation that eventually empowered and allowed me to become the woman that I am today. I won’t lie and say I didn’t cry over the situation and yes my friends, the very ones that showed up and out for me two weeks ago, were there to help me get through this time. There was even a road trip planned from Michigan to Birmingham where each friend would be strategically picked up to avenge my honor and if you’ve never planned a drive by, no guns, with friends before, you won’t feel my pain.

We pulled back the crazy and created my now sure fire breakup plan for the woman that is ready to move on with her life:

  1. Cry until you really have to ask yourself why am I crying
  2. Call your friends and bash, cry, or whatever you need to get through
  3. Ban all music  or even artists that makes you sad
  4. Find your empowerment anthem (Sorry Bey but Aaliyah More than a Woman said it all)
  5. Play that song everyday and sing to the top of your lungs
  6. Test yourself when you’re feeling strong by playing a banned song or artist
  7. If you still feel some type of way, repeat steps 3-6 until it doesn’t
  8. If you don’t, you are healed girl, now go out, enjoy life, and love again

Has anyone else felt my pain? What are your sure fire breakup rituals? Share your experience with us below in the comments or on social media



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  1. Loved the article and so happy to finally hear a lady get it. It’s not BWTGH that we should be angry with. She is not in a relationship with us. It’s that man who allows BWTGH to infiltrate our relationship that needs to either be checked and if that doesn’t work, dismissed. As for my sure fire way of dealing…I keep telling myself that Becky couldn’t take him if he were truly mine and if he wasn’t mine, I really didn’t lose anything anyway. NEXT!

    1. Yes, exactly. I had to stop wasting my time and remember who and whose I was. Once I remembered that, it was easy as pie to move on and love again.

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