This time, two weeks ago, several of my friends prepared to travel from near or far for my wedding weekend. They came from all over, D.C., Ohio, Georgia, Mississippi, and Tennessee were well represented. One of my out of town friends commented on how she’s never known anyone in my age range that has as large of a consistent base of friends from all stages of life. For instance, my bridal shower headcount ended up being 26 with 31 invited. Keep in mind that only 12 attendees were family members which included 8 new sister in laws. So that means that I had 14 very close friends from elementary to first real job out of graduate school friends come out and support me.
Note: I had two friends who were still traveling during the shower time and one who couldn’t make it from Texas but still showed love.
Now the sheer number of friends I had support me is amazing not only because we live in the generation of “keep your circle small” but because I am not a part of any type of organization (i.e. greek) that lends itself to large group camaraderie and support. Honestly, I probably could have had an even larger bridal shower attendance if I went past my very closest friends and I don’t think I could have been as great of a semi-host if it was larger than it was.
I can’t say that I’m a great or even good friend and that’s why I had so much support from my village of friends. If I’m honest with myself, I’m a very lazy friend. Most of my friends have the same temperament and ideas about friendship as I do. We’re very independent but supportive of each other and our endeavors, don’t really need to talk to each other every day but when you call or text it’s like we never stopped, and we definitely know how to get a party started in the deadest club you’ve ever seen. I hadn’t seen most of my friends in years due to our schedules and monetary restrictions yet they still pulled it together to come support me.
But on the opposite side, I often think of the friends I’ve lost along the way when someone comments on my friendships. I once had a very strong male friend village at one point but that’s another blog for another time. I ran into one of them while shooting with Caleb in the gym. We caught up on each other’s lives and it was like we never skipped a beat. He came to my wedding reception along with another one of my homeboys from high school that I randomly ran into and it was just great to have them there. I’ve also had a plethora of elementary, middle school, and high school friends that I only like photos and wish them a happy birthday on FB now. Recently, my very best friend from high school whom I haven’t spoken to since probably my freshman year of college reached out to me after the wedding to hang out and catch up after looking through her memory box. Sad to say, we never connected during her visit here from the southwest.
Friendships are hard to keep and manage especially as a young professional trying to find your place in society. Between schedules, budgets, children, etc. it’s just really hard to cater to an extended group of friends while also finding some me time. And if you’re an introvert like me, you really need that me time to recharge. Nevertheless, I honestly cherish every friendship that I have had and still have for making me the person I am today and I wish all of those who are no longer a part of my village the best in life “DayLee”.